Lockdown Journal - Solidarity in Times of Struggle
My journey at the University of Oxford has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my existence. For six months, begining in September 2019, I had been able to pursue all the ambitions and dreams I had had before coming. My hope was of course to enjoy this incredible privilege for a full year but, as the Covid19 pandemic spread around the world, it became clear the universe had a different plan.
Upon my arrival at Oxford, I was extremely impressed by the way the University catered for its students living with disabilities, providing both financial and technical support. I have incurable low vision caused by dysfunctional retinas and optic nerves. The lockdown closed all libraries in the University and switched all courses to online learning. Even though I was aware of the privilege of being able to continue my masters studies whereas many others are losing an entire academic year, the switch to online learning has been very difficult to me.
Spending long hours reading in front of a computer, is a real torture for people with my condition. It requires me to take frequent breaks from the screen and often results in migraine and moodiness. The stress and fear of failing and disappointing everyone that believed in me plunged me into a frightening mental torment which left me incapable of doing any work for weeks. I was undergoing a depression far away from home (the Democratic Republic of the Congo) and far from family.
My friends, old and new, have played a pivotal role in my mental well-being and motivation; I wouldn’t have gotten better without them. They provided a level of support that I would never have imagined possible, from sharing summaries of readings to spending hours each week tutoring me in one of my most feared subjects of the year (statistics!), to sending personalised encouragement cards, to organising phone call catch ups and even to setting up ridiculous dancing video challenges to make me feel better. They were there every step of the difficult journey.
I was also lucky to have a partner whose family lives in Scotland, where I was able to find refuge during this uncertain times. Alongside the human support, I was able to go out and enjoy the beauty of nature walking around the empty fields of the West Highlands in Scotland.
This lockdown has taught me three valuable lessons: i) that it is okay to feel overwhelmed and powerless in certain circumstances; ii) to appreciate the precious value of solidarity and the very often neglected importance, power and ridiculous beauty of friendship and iii) to regularly check in with people and ask if they need anything (even if you don’t think there is much you could do to help) as many people avoid asking for support through fear of being a burden on others or looking weak.