Redemption, after a Setback — Fizza’s Baggage to Oxford
We asked our scholars to go back to the moment they packed their luggage in preparation for their journey to Oxford. But instead of clothes and books, we asked them to think about the stories, people, memories, hopes, and all immaterial things that they would put inside. Find other stories in this series here.
I was always destined to pursue medicine, and to become a doctor. At the age of 15, I had decided that I’d become a cardiologist (partly because the word sounded fancy to me, and partly because I had always studied pure sciences). In 2014, one academic setback changed the course of my plans. I dropped out of medicine, and was left without any sense of where my life was going. I fell into studying Economics by accident, and the only reason I tried to excel at it was to redeem myself. I knew that Oxford was the redemption I was looking for, but never had the mettle to voice it.
I spent five years of my life, trying to build my profile, so as to be able to pursue graduate studies at Oxford. I made sure I graduated at the top of my batch, worked with multiple National and multi-lateral organizations, broadened my international exposure, gained some research experience, did not give myself days off for years – to be able to give myself the ‘at least you gave it your level best’ reassurance if I didn’t get admitted.
In 2018, I came fairly close to winning a renowned scholarship for Oxford. However, owing to the selection procedure – like most things in my home country - being opaque and politicized, I did not win. When I directly applied for an MSc in Economics for Development at Oxford in 2019, I was anxious about witnessing a recurrence of the same. However, this time I won two fully-funded scholarships, one of which was the Weidenfeld Hoffman Scholarship.
As I was packing to come to Oxford, I just told myself one thing, “This is your redemption”.
So, if you’re reading this, and are facing/or have faced a personal, academic, or professional setback, just remind yourself:
And you never can tell just how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit— It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
- John Greenleaf Whittier
